OSU Homecoming: 3 Vantage Points

Homecoming time in Stillwater, OK has no comparison. I know that sounds cliché, but if you really believe that it’s because you’ve never been here for homecoming. There are festivities all week long, and the week is capped off with Walk Around Friday night, the Sea of Orange Homecoming Parade and finally the football game. As giddy as everyone gets at homecoming, you’d think it was Christmas morning. This year was no different. My family woke up Saturday morning and our kiddos were giddy about the parade. They loved Walk Around, but they were most excited about the parade. We, like always, were late to the parade so we had to go to the back of the line. We found great parking, walked a few yards over to Hall of Fame and watched as they finished the parade. We sat maybe 15 yards west of the Hall of Fame/Main St. intersection. In the end, we would see the parade from three vantage points.

Vantage Point #1

We arrived right as the OSU marching band was coming through with the cheerleaders and POM squad. Our kids loved how close we were. We felt like the parade was redeemed and continued to watch. We saw maybe 70% of the entries as some were diverted east on Hall of Fame and others kept heading north on Main St. Numerous times my family moved up to the intersection to see more entries in the parade. The last memory from this vantage point was the Lawnmower Drill Team’s routine. Around 10:15AM, we decided to leave. My in-laws wanted some coffee and we all decided to go to Food Pyramid. After much debate, my wife decided to walk to Food Pyramid with our 4 month old who was sleeping. We loaded our other kids up, and waited for about 10 horses and their riders to pass before turning west on Hall of Fame. I remember looking at the clock it was 10:21AM. We turned right onto Hall of Fame, then right again onto Duck St. toward McElroy. As soon as we turned right onto McElroy we heard the first sirens. We remember this because my 2-year-old yells from the back, “Let’s pray for that emergency!” We did.

Vantage Point #2

After a few more minutes, we finally turned into the Food Pyramid parking lot. I parked and got out of my car and headed toward the very intersection we had just left. It’s 10:36 at this point. I assumed a float fell over or something like that. As I approached the scene, I realized something worse had happened. A young man who saw the whole thing informed of what just happened five minutes earlier. I began to worry about my wife and child who were crossing that intersection, and about as soon as that thought came to my mind my wife called. I was so relieved, and at the same time I was in shock at what I was seeing. Just 10 minutes or so earlier we were laughing and enjoying the parade on one side of this intersection, and now from this vantage point shock, grief, agony and a sense of helplessness. I saw bodies everywhere. I saw rescue workers attending to all the injured. It felt chaotic and at the same time like it was under complete control. I can testify that many more did not die that day because the quick and effective response of the Stillwater emergency crews, medical personnel and others in the crowd who responded so quickly. I did not want to be a spectator so I moved back, and offered to serve however I could. My final memory from this vantage point was seeing a rescue worker carrying a little child in his arms who had clearly been injured. The child looked to be the age of my 5 year old. I went back to our van to kiss my family goodbye while I waited with my father-in-law to serve families and friends of those affected by this tragedy. When I got in our van to kiss my kids, I nearly lost it. It hit in that moment that we were just mere moments from that being my kids, my wife out there.

It is hard to describe the rest of the day. It was full of emotion, contemplation and questions. Lots of questions. We sat through the football game, not so much because we wanted to see a game, but more so because we wanted to be around the community. We needed that venue to talk, process and just sit for awhile. Sitting in that crowd on Saturday reminded me that we have been here before. Unfortunately, Oklahoma State and Stillwater are familiar with tragedy. That night we got a gift from God. A beautiful orange sunset that reminded me that God is good and He does good. He had not abandoned Stillwater that day. This was the beginning of my third vantage point.

Vantage Point #3

Sometimes our vantage point is one in which we cannot see anything else but the painful circumstance we are currently in. Depending on how close you are to certain events determines how much or little you can see. Had I lost a loved one in the parade, I would not be able to write this blog right now. Others were nowhere near anything that happened that day and can pull back and see the bigger picture. What that Saturday night sunset did for me was cause me to look up and in looking up be reminded that there is a greater story unfolding right now. Many in that parade were not able to see the sunset. Their pain and sorrow clouded any view of that sunset, but it does not mean the sunset was not there or even real. Life is a lot like the parade from my vantage points. One minute you are enjoying life. You are laughing, cheering, smiling, holding one another to stay warm. The next minute crying, in shock, holding injured and lifeless bodies. This is what brokenness looks like. Our world is broken, and there is nothing in it that will ever satisfy our longings. What you cling to now may be gone in seconds.

What tragedy often does for us is it exposes the façade of safety and security and forces us to see reality that we often times don’t want to deal with day-to-day. I didn’t want to be waiting to serve hurting families. I wanted to enjoy homecoming and go to a football game. I wanted to laugh, cheer and enjoy a great day. But when I saw what happened, the façade began to lift. At first, I wanted to hide behind the façade and forget what was in front me and enjoy the day and game. It wasn’t long before I was dealing with tough life issues. I was listening to friends talk about their friend whose girlfriend was just killed minutes before. I listened to a scared brother and sister as they were searching for their grandparents. All the while, I was wrestling with fears of what if we had stayed like I wanted? What if my wife decided to hang out at that intersection a little longer to see the rest of the parade? I hated the feeling that I might not have control. I hated what the end result could have been for me and for them. It made me want to pull back and retreat from life and just protect my family. I was very aware in that moment how human I was, and how broken our world really is.

That night I stared at the sunset for maybe 10-15 minutes. I needed that sunset. I needed to remember this is not how THE story ends. It doesn’t end with a tragic accident. It doesn’t end with bodies everywhere and mass chaos. My story may end that way, but THE story we all live in will not end that way. No there is another vantage point that we need to consider: God’s vantage point. He was there Saturday. He was in the crowd. He was in the helicopters. He was in the car. He was in the aftermath. He is not distant. He is near and he is not unfamiliar with our suffering. A day is coming when everything will be as it was meant to be. The day is coming when there will be no more tragedies. No more tears of pain. No more brokenness. A day when the whole world is filled with the glory of the Lord like waters cover the seas (Habakkuk 2:14).

Saturday was a dark day. It was dark because of what happened, but it was also dark because it was overcast all day. At dusk, the clouds began to break, the sun shone through and we were given a beautiful sunset filled with orange, yellow, red and pink. Many commented on social media about it. Light gets our attention in dark places. It brings hope. It brings direction. It may not explain the darkness we’re in, but it offers us a way out. The sunset that night, I believe, was God using nature to draw our attention to Him. To Jesus. To the One who boasts that He is the light of the world (John 8:12)

God was not punishing us that day. God was not pouring out His wrath on Stillwater, OK. God poured out his wrath on His son Jesus Christ. That Saturday was about brokenness, and how our brokenness is not isolated. It always affects others, and sometimes in ways that stand out very clearly and very painfully. This is reality. God is not thrown off by it, nor is he confused by it. He sees it. He knows it very well. Jesus’ death on the Roman cross thousands of years ago was done to do something about it. We cannot fix our broken world. We have tried and tried for centuries. We cannot fix it because we broke it and we ourselves are broken. The broken cannot fix the broken. We need a Savior! We need the Unbroken to fix the broken.

From God’s vantage point, we can see this tragedy from a perspective of light instead of darkness. We do not ignore how dark that day was, but seeing this tragedy from God’s vantage point allows light to break in and bring healing, restoration, hope and renewal. We do not just flippantly move on from this and say, “Just praise God!” No. We grieve and mourn loss. We hurt and cry. We ask our questions and seek for answers. We pray. We come together. But in all this we can do so with purpose. We can grieve and mourn and cry and pray with hope and meaning. We look past what is seen to that which is unseen (2 Corinthians 4:16-18). What is seen is temporal and transient. We do not place our hope in that which decays and is fleeting. We put our hope in Christ who has conquered death and sin. He is working for us all the pain and suffering of this life for an eternal weight of glory that is beyond comparison, and we need to be reminded that everyday we need Jesus. He is enough (2 Corinthians 12:9-10). He will heal. He will restore. He will sustain us. He is familiar with our suffering (Hebrews 2:5-17).

So I hope and pray that anyone reading this will put their hope and trust in Jesus. I pray every day you would cling to Him for strength and renewal. Jesus broke his body and spilled his blood so that we might be made whole again (Matthew 26:26-29), and this is not a one and done event. Jesus’ body and blood were shed so that daily we might be renewed. So grieve, mourn, hurt, cry and pray, and remember “For God, who said, “Let light shine out of darkness,” has shone in our hearts to give the light of the knowledge of the glory of God in the face of Jesus Christ.” – 2 Corinthians 4:6.

Now may our Lord Jesus Christ himself, and God our Father, who loved us and gave us eternal comfort and good hope through grace, comfort your hearts and establish them in every good work and word.

2 Thessalonians 2:16-17