But, Do You Love Me?

One of the more difficult truths that I have wrestled with in my life is the truth that God loves me. I know I am not alone in that. I could tell you many stories from my days in college where I wrestled with this truth. I could tell you about my days in deep depression where I wrestled with this. To this day, I wrestle with this here and there. This post, though, is not about whether or not God loves me. He does. I believe it. I am not currently wrestling with that. He loves you, too. I hope you believe it. No, this post is about you. Not you reading this specifically, but “you” as a general “you”.

I have had people in my life tell me that God loves me. From pastors, to christian leaders, even family and friends. I mean even random strangers have told me. And I have told many people myself that God loves them. But what if the next time you told someone that God loved them they replied with, “But, do you love me?” Now, let me do something with this scenario real quick. I want you to get out of your head for a second a person with whom you deeply love and show it. I want you to think for a second about someone you might tell that God loves them, but you have little to no relationship with them. If it helps, imagine yourself walking up to a stranger in the hope of sharing the good news of Jesus with them and saying to them, “God loves you!” and they reply with, “But, do you love me?” What would you say? I assume for most we would say “Yes, I do!” You might even add in there that you do because Jesus loves you and them so you also love them. Biblically speaking, this is right on. This is theologically correct, but the question still remains, do you love them?

I love my children. I tell them every day. I ask them if they know I love them, and they all say “yes” without hesitation. Now, if you ask one of my children how they know I love them you will hear a range of responses. All the responses will have to do with things I do with them and for them, as well as what I give up for them. They will most likely not say that they know because I tell them everyday multiple times. When I tell them that I love them that is not sufficient on its own. Everyday I get an “I love you” message on my phone, and everyday I dread it. I don’t believe it, and I don’t believe it because I have years of history that says otherwise. Just saying I love you does not mean you love someone. Just telling someone God loves them will mean very little to most people. I’m not saying it doesn’t do anything, but if you have ever said this to someone who has just suffered a great and unexpected loss it doesn’t hit like we think. No, when we tell someone that God loves them, we tell them by speaking about how he has shown his love for them. And not just in that while we were still sinners Christ died for us. We also speak of his great love in how he has compassion and can sympathize with our suffering. How we sees and hears us, and meets us in our darkest hours. He doesn’t leave us, and he even allows us to lament to Him our pain and anger and confusion and fears without turning us away. He loves you and I, and he proves it over and over.

But, do you love me? I am not asking about me specifically, again this is general. This question matters for Christians everywhere. It’s as much a part of the gospel message as God loves you. I want to be very clear here, I am NOT saying your love is equal to God’s love. Nor am I saying your love and God’s love is what saves people. What I am saying is that when we say God loves someone, but we do not show love for them it is confusing and distorts the gospel message. Yes, it is true that God loves them. Whether you actually show them love or not doesn’t change that, but when we do not show love to those we tell that God loves then we send mixed signals. Here’s what I mean. Look at what John writes in 1 John 4:7-12 (ESV):

7 Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God, and whoever loves has been born of God and knows God. 8 Anyone who does not love does not know God, because God is love. 9 In this the love of God was made manifest among us, that God sent his only Son into the world, so that we might live through him. 10 In this is love, not that we have loved God but that he loved us and sent his Son to be the propitiation for our sins. 11 Beloved, if God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. 12 No one has ever seen God; if we love one another, God abides in us and his love is perfected in us.

Love is from God. God’s love is evident in what the Bible tells us about God’s love for us. But we must not miss that God’s love is on display through us. John says no one has seen God, but when we love one another we experience very tangibly God’s love for us. Now John goes on to further this point, and gets bold. Check out verses 19-21(ESV):

19 We love because he first loved us. 20 If anyone says, “I love God,” and hates his brother, he is a liar; for he who does not love his brother whom he has seen cannot love God whom he has not seen. 21 And this commandment we have from him: whoever loves God must also love his brother.

OK, so this says if you claim to love God but hate your brother that you are a liar. So what does this have to do with telling someone God loves them? We love because God first loved us. So it is crucial we understand this passage in light of God first loving us. So when we claim that God loves us and we believe it, then it also means we love God. And if we claim to love God, it is only because of his love for us. He loved us first. Notice what John says here. In both of the passages I posted above, John speaks of no one being able to see God, but that his love is visible through our love for one another. So if you are telling someone that God loves them, but you don’t love them then what are you saying about God’s love with your actions? Your words are cheap, and people will grow weary of hearing about a God who apparently loves them that they cannot see and have nothing but a book telling them God loves them. I am not downplaying the role of the Holy Spirit here. I know full well the Spirit of God illuminates hearts and minds to the truth of God’s love. I am also well aware that God’s people, the Church, are also instrumental in displaying God’s love in how they love one another and their neighbor. These are not at odds with each other.

When our evangelism strategies are void of love for our neighbor, we shouldn’t be surprised when they are not just jumping at the first mention of the good news. In a country that has so conflated the gospel with right wing conservatism or left wing progressivism, it’s likely most are so tired of “your gospel” that they will not even give you a hearing. Maybe tired is too kind. Most are hostile nowadays, and not to the true gospel. Yes, people will be hostile to the true gospel, but what many are hostile to is another gospel altogether which is not heard as much as it is seen. We can keep telling people that God loves them all we want, but I believe the question they will ask back is, “But, do you love me?” How many have come to faith in Christ and felt more abandoned and lonely than they did before? You may think a small number, but you’d be mistaken. How many have left church after church because they aren’t loved? Sure, we can point to people that left because they were being loved but they despised being disciplined. That’s not what I am talking about. And listen, some are asking this question and they haven’t left the church.

Can I be vulnerable for a second? I do not wrestle much with whether God loves me anymore. What I was not aware of though until more recently is that I find myself wondering if “you” love me? I am wrestling these days wondering if fellow Christians in our church and city love me. That feels weird to say, and I assure you I am not seeking a bunch of messages from people saying they love me. I know there are those who absolutely do love me. It is evident not only in how they serve and encourage me, but in how they challenge me, push me, and even when I do and say really stupid things stay by my side. It’s men and women like this that have honestly deepened my belief and knowledge that God really does love me. They reflect his great love for me in so many ways. But, there are many others who claim to love God and would tell me that God loves me, but I just wonder, “Do they love me?” Love is hard and messy, yet beautiful and rich. God’s love that is. 1 Corinthians 13 paints a picture of God’s love. It’s not the romantic dating/marriage type love that we often try to make it. It applies there, sure, but it is much deeper and wider than that. I encourage you to go read it, and then ask, “Do I love my fellows brothers and sisters in Christ both in my church and outside my church like this?

Love is also fully and perfectly displayed in Christ Jesus. Go read the gospel accounts of Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John. Just read and observe how Jesus showed love for both his followers and his enemies. Put your life up against the life and love of Jesus, and ask yourself that question, “But, do you love me?” Do you love others like Jesus did? Do you love your enemies like Jesus? Does your love make compromises or does your love, like Jesus, have deep conviction while full of compassion? Does your love look more like the religious establishment of Jesus’ day? Do you love those who love you? Do you believe God loves you? Do you love God? If you do, how is your love for God evident in how you love both other Christians and those who are not Christian? When you tell the next person, “God loves you” will they know God loves them simply because the Bible tells them so, or also because you have shown them so?

In a current church culture that is more known by what it hates and despises, what a radical shift it would be if we were known as Jesus’ disciples by the love we have for one another. There are major players in the church seeking (and in some cases have been very successful) to divide the church. They are making up all types of false accusations against pastors and christian leaders. They are maligning the Bride of Christ with slander, straw man arguments, labels, and baseless attacks. Jewish leaders called Jesus Beelzebub (or Satan, basically). Let that sink in. This stuff isn’t new from religious leaders. There will always be wolves in our midsts cause this is how Jesus sent us out to find the lost sheep (Matthew 10). We are warned time and time again in the Bible to have nothing to do with divisive people, to avoid foolish controversies, and to have nothing to with conspiracies, mythologies, and the like (see all of 1 & 2 Timothy and Titus for starters). So not only are we to love one another, which would be a radical shift, but we are to love those who hate us, mistreat us, speak evil about us, malign us, and falsely accuse us, too (Matthew 5:43-48, Luke 6:27-36, Romans 5:10). We do not return evil for evil or insult for insult, and instead give them food and drink when they are thirsty or hungry (Romans 12:17-21 and 1 Peter 3:8-18).

And finally, what a radical shift it would be if we were known for loving our neighbors as ourselves. See the whole Bible for this, haha. I mean it, though, as silly and simple as that may seem. Paul says in Galatians 5:14 that the entire law is summed up in the command to love your neighbor as yourself. Go read about the parable of the Good Samaritan in Luke 10:25-37 to see what it means to be a good neighbor. I can assure that he did not show love to the man left for dead by telling him that God loves him and leaving a tract. No, he inconvenienced himself in order to love and serve the man left for dead. He did not ignore him, claim rights and freedoms to avoid him, and he did not bash the man for being on the “wrong side of the road” or an “illegal immigrant” or having some major sin issue that lead to his current condition. No, he saw the man in need, moved toward him, gave of his own resources to heal and restore the man. He loved his neighbor, and that love was a reflection of God’s love which was displayed in Christ most clearly and perfectly. It is the love we have to give the world in endless supply because of Jesus’ own unending, never failing love for us.

So, yes, tell your family, your friends, your neighbors, your co-workers, your city, your campus, your country, and all ethnicities the world over that God loves them. It is absolutely true! Spread that gospel message broadly. But, do you love them?

Bryan Padgett